from that day we broke off till today, i been sleeping at 3 AM. been thinking whether have i make the wrong choice again. i made a wrong choice 5 years back but i know she isn't the one cause after we broke off i did a lot stupid and foolish things just to gain some attention from others and her. As time goes by, this so called love became hatred, this hatred that stuck in my heart for so long that i can't even remember. However, i remember she told me "i'm sorry that i did this to you and just forget me" then me, having my out of controlled mind and emotion i told her "is this sincerely from you? because i going to make you back pay 3 times more of this pain!".
today even though we are church mates, i learn a very impactful lesson from that experience. I always going around telling people i been loving her for like 3 to 4 years? i re-think what i have said should be i been hating her for like 3 to 4 years. Just because i want to let her pay back what she owns to me. thank you Lord for this event didn't happen in my life, cause if this happen, a lot more problem might arise and more sadness.
how do i find this out? because this time i really in love with another person, who every time say herself "i'm not pretty, my body figure is not what is use to be or i had bad face". We been together for 2 years plus. when we celebrating our 1 year, she asked me a qns "are you tired of me?" i told her "no, i'm not tired at you at all". After that year, she keep pounding me qns that related to break. I start to doubt and ask myself "why is she asking this qns? so i start a relationship with her is just for fun?"
i think it's useless to say or share how much we been through, cause the only person reading is me now maybe she?
love song
you have a pig face
you have fat face
give me a chance to see
that you really have fat face
Still remember this song? i name it our love song! ha ha!
till now, i won't hide the fact that i love her and i really do! she always wonder if her house thingy will come true. my own words, yes it definitely WILL! i going to say MARRY ME at esplanade. i want to have a house share with you i wan to have a dog and take care of it with you. i got so much things that i want to do with you. and i called this, my true love plan!
shalom
Karlson
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